I Ejaculate Prematurely — What Do I Do Now?

Premature ejaculation can be upsetting, but the fact is, it’s a really common problem for lots of men. In fact, premature ejaculation is the most common sexual disorder among males, affecting as many as 40% of all men at some point during their lives.

With offices in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens, New York, Alfred Shtainer, MD, FACS, has significant experience treating premature ejaculation in patients at Adult and Pediatric Urology. Here’s what he wants you to know about this common problem and what you can do to manage it.

Premature ejaculation: Understand why it happens

Premature ejaculation is a condition where you ejaculate very quickly during sex, sometimes less than a minute into sexual activity and often before any penetration takes place. Premature ejaculation can be a problem for you or your partner (or both).

Although researchers don’t know exactly why premature ejaculation occurs, they do know that multiple factors may play a role. These include:

• Anxiety and stress
• Depression
• Guilt
• Relationship problems
• Medical problems, like diabetes or hypertension
• Neurological problems
• Hormonal imbalances
• Substance abuse problems
• Injuries
• Older age

Premature ejaculation may be a continual issue, or it might only occur in certain situations.

Managing premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation can cause a lot of frustration and even feelings of failure and shame. But the good news is, it can be managed. It just might take a little time to find a combination of therapies that works for you.

Medically, prescription medicines and counseling can counteract many of the common causes of premature ejaculation. Many types of therapy can help you learn to relax and manage stress and anxiety that can interfere with sex in multiple ways.

Additionally, there are some things you can do, too.

Practice stress management at home

Stress management activities like breathing techniques, meditation, or yoga can all help relieve stress that could be contributing to premature ejaculation and other problems in your life. Lots of classes can be found online, so you can learn these techniques when and where it’s convenient for you.

Use condoms

Condoms are a simple way to decrease penile sensitivity, which could help delay ejaculation.

Use topical desensitizing products

Over-the-counter and prescription gels, creams, or sprays can help decrease sensitivity and prolong sexual activity, too. Be sure any product you use won’t cause irritation for your partner. 

Use the “start-stop” method

With this method, the goal is to stop any type of stimulation before reaching the point of ejaculation. Once the sensations have subsided, begin sexual activity again and repeat as needed to extend the time before ejaculation. With practice, this method can help you learn to achieve longer ejaculation times.

Try the “pause-and-squeeze” technique

This technique is similar to the “start-stop” method, but it has one simple difference. Before achieving ejaculation, stop any type of sexual activity and squeeze the head of your penis gently between your thumb and forefinger. Resume activity once the sensation passes.

Look into relationship counseling

Because relationship problems can cause stress and potentially contribute to premature ejaculation, going to relationship counseling may help by improving communication, trust, and confidence.

Stick with your treatment

Once we determine the cause of your premature ejaculation issues, we can tailor a treatment plan for you that might include medication, counseling, or having underlying medical problems treated, along with at-home techniques you can practice on your own. Regular visits help ensure your plan stays on track.

Learn how we can help

Premature ejaculation is common, but that doesn’t make it any easier to live with. To learn how we can help, book an appointment online or over the phone with Dr. Shtainer and the team at Adult and Pediatric Urology today.